"That's The Point"
So I disappeared from blogging for a while. With so much going on and needing to be in 1,000 places at once at any point in the day, setting aside time to quietly pen thoughts was virtually impossible. Sometimes in those busy moments, I do long for the time to sit quietly and reflect. It is important that a body be able to do that so that they know where it is they have been, where they are, and where they are headed (spiritually).
So I guess while I'm here, I'll reflect and share. :) My thoughts might be a bit jumbled, but hang with me.
Our family is a foster family with the Department of Family and Children Services in central Georgia. We recently adopted over the summer, but just this last week received another call from DFCS that has turned our lives upside down (and inside out :) ) for the present. My parents (and often one or two of us kids) make daily trips to the NICU to see a baby that was born prematurely a couple of months ago. This child has no one to rely on but the nurses that care for her around the clock.
Upon telling people vaguely of this situation we are involved in with this child, often what we hear is "How blessed she is to be loved and cared for by your family!" Those words are sweet, but honestly, we are the ones that couldn't be more blessed. Oftentimes what people see from the outside as sacrifice, is really a blessing for those on the inside. Yes, maybe our "lives" and schedules are put on hold for the present, but God is at work. No, we don't have to do this. We've heard that. However, God called my parents to this ministry a long time ago, but a little over 2 years ago He said: "I'm ready for you to begin." My parents were shocked at what began to unfold and the doors that opened as they started this fostering journey. When God is working, we've "gotta roll with it" or be drug along for the ride! :)
What is undeniable is we're over-whelmed and stretched on several counts. We are overwhelmed at this incredible blessing God has placed in our lives, overwhelmed at His goodness, humbled, but also sometimes stretched with being tired and grasping at keeping a somewhat steady schedule. Being in a large family is a true blessing, but flexibility is necessary and everyone has to be. No, we're not perfect in dealing with all the additional dynamics of fostering. We have falling outs, arguments, and small irritations. It's not pleasant, but it happens, and it happens to every single family I've ever known. However, it is through these instances that the stress of life manifests itself and tests our patience. Times like these have grown us. I have watched my siblings grow so much through this journey we're on as a family, and not a single one begrudges those hard-learned lessons that shape and mold them. This, in and of itself, is one of the greatest blessings of it all that I have witnessed.
When we reach a point of exhaustion, sometimes it isn't just the physical. A lot of things can have a body emotionally exhausted as well. Decision making, circumstantial stress, emotionally draining people, situations that are out of our control... are among so many of the causes of it. What I haven't told you so far is how during these times we find a certain peace. This peace is hard-won, always sought, and readily given. It's all three of those things, yes (and my mom will be the first to agree!)!
Peace. Everyone wants it and it is so hard to get. What accompanies great peace is a reminder of love as well. "The love of God is greater far than tongue or pen can ever tell..." and it truly is. Sometimes His great love and goodness are unrequited. It's not returned and the great sacrifice of His love goes unaccepted and unappreciated. Even Christians are guilty of forgetting it, as I am sometimes.
Something I will admit, as others will too, is that oftentimes when we're walking through a situation of any kind that tries us, we "lose touch" with a certain closeness with Christ. My Dad calls this walking through a spiritual desert and all we have to do to get out of that situation is ask for rain. Yet we are so hesitant because whatever it is we're walking through is so out of our control that we hesitate to give control over to our Higher Power. We want the rain so badly, but are we willing to surrender control?
I've seen the memes that say something like, "God will never give us any more than we are capable of handling." However, I came across the meme above as I was working through this post, and it fits everything I'd like to say into a compact statement. He will give us more than we can handle. That's the point of it all! He tests us, tries us, and puts us through situations to test our resilience, our love for Him, and our willingness to relinquish control. No situation is going to be completely within our own control. As frustrating as that is, especially for a control freak like me, coming to the realization that we don't have to be in control (and that He is) is uncommonly freeing.
"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?"
-Jeremiah 32:27-
Nothing is too hard for Him. We know a lot of things are too hard for us to handle on our own, which is why He so freely gives His hand of protection and love when we ask. To put a personal spin on this, our situation right now with this beautiful little girl is entirely God-driven. We do feel out of control. I am constantly reminded though through the encouraging words of friends and studying God's word how having little control is actually a blessing. There is no way we could have orchestrated this last week of our life or even predicted that it would happen. Everything that has unfolded since then, every single detail of life, has been sweated and worried over. However, each and every one of those details was pre-planned and laid perfectly in order by God long before this little bundle of joy came into our lives.
We feel like we're falling sometimes. Falling into physical exhaustion, stress, and we're hoping and praying for the best. Sometimes we feel like our worries are uncontrollable, difficult to deal with, and a door to the unknown that we can't open. It's not time for us to know the unknown yet. God will reveal that, no matter how weakly we worry and tug on that door handle. It is God that takes that desperate hand and upholds it in guidance until He reveals His master plan. We are a long way from knowing the end of this road with this child and we do not know how long the road will be, but we're praying. Please pray for her with us.
"And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you."
-Psalm 9:10-
So yes, when you're walking through any situation that is out of your control, it is so common to feel like you are reeling and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Sometimes we need to feel that way. I need to feel that way, if only for the sake of remembering who upholds my hand.
"Though he falls, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the LORD upholds his hand."
-Psalm 37:24-
~Maddy~
