2020: Be Real!

What would happen if writing, communicating, or speaking all the sudden became effortless?

What if anyone could write fast, take chances, and put their first thoughts down? Because we all know that the easiest thing to read is the same as the easiest person to talk to... the writer or speaker is open, honest about themselves, true to their word, but not overly proud. Let's try it. Because life, like writing, requires us to to be real in order to reach people truly. So let's talk about personal things. How do we grow in ourselves and as people? How do we relate and invest in others? Both are such important topics to explore, so I'll break it down into a few sub-points for the sake of organization.

How do you grow as a person? How have I grown? How do I look to keep growing or in what ways do I know I need to grow?

I've always been told that no person is 100% self-made. I know I'm not. Whatever I have to offer the world I've gotten on loan from God...and it's due back whenever He tells me it is. Tomorrow isn't mine to claim; only today, so I have to do the best I can with that. No more and no less.

Some folks say that's a limited way to look at it all. Other folks say I shouldn't credit God with everything because that puts a limit on our talents. Talents? Well, you could call them that, but to me that is a code word for "gifts" which I believe come from a boundless place called "God's storehouse". The treasures there are innumerable and He gives liberally to all who ask. How wonderful is that? So how could I ever say I'm self-made when I absolutely have to credit the great Gift Giver with any quality I possess?!

So how do we grow as people?

The answer is simple. There is no set formula and no distinct way of reaching God close enough to rub shoulders with the angels and become a perfect human being. That's impossible. So what am I saying exactly? We have to struggle if we're going to grow.

"Great, Maddy. You were a lot of help."

Yeah, well I try to be. ;) JK


One of my favorite things to tell myself and my friends when we're going through times of growth is that "If we're growing, then there are going to be growing pains." Those growing pains always come in the forms of character flaws that mend or qualities which are developed through struggle.

The truth be as it may, we tell ourselves or shout it from the rooftops that "I was just fine the way I was. I could have done without all of this extra character!". Be careful with that, by the way. God will very quickly show you just how much more you have to learn (Ask me how I know.).  In the midst of trials or struggles God uses with every intention to grow us, we are shouting back at Him with all of our mini-fury. He hears us; every single word. He feels the emotion we feel towards Him when we don't understand the paths intended for our good.

A verse one of my dearest friends always reminds me of (and seeing this verse reminds me of her) is Jeremiah 29:11 which says, "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." To keep within context here, I know that the LORD wasn't speaking directly to me in this verse, but nevertheless, when we sense the amount of love that God has for His people here, we can't help but feel so much closer to Him knowing that, because we know Him, our plans are written in stone and will come out the way He intends them to....IF we place them all in His all-capable hands.

So my friends, that is how we grow. By trusting, committing, and even working our way slowly through life's nail-biting situations. They are all part of our story of growth. So dig your roots deep into the soil... force yourself through the rocks and gravel of life, and grow. The water is there in the soil waiting to soothe you, God is just waiting on you to find it.

So how have I grown?

Let this picture speak for me first.

Yikes, that thing has been through the ringer. Detached binding, torn pages in the gospels and Paul's books, and the book of Proverbs may actually be missing a page or two. That poor Bible knows all my dirty secrets. 

You are going to see A LOT of scripture in this part because so many people have shared scripture with me over the past season of my life. Sometimes it has gotten to the point where I was drowning in the word because people washed me in it so much, but that's a VERY good problem to have, friends. :)

Something I also try to do is take each scripture I get by text, in a written letter, or over the phone and put it in my journal the day it was given to me. It helps me remember where I've been. I also place the day's date next to that verse in my Bible. The beautiful thing is, now I look back over the 8 years I've had my Bible my parents gave me; which is now falling apart from the difficult teen years (the struggle is real) :). There is hardly a chapter that goes by without seeing some date written in the margins and I can tell you exactly what was going on at that time in my life.

Let's start with one of my favorite verses of all time. Those who have been my closest friends will know this verse when they see it. :)

(bibleversestogo.com)

The verse that always has an answer for any situation I've faced this year...and I've worn it out time and again. I've held on to things and let go. Worked through situations where my pride was at its peak...and then bit by bit it falls apart. I've let go of things that I thought answered my questions and learned, once again, that nothing that has been or will be a part of my life will answer the most important questions that need answering.

Trusting in Christ alone with an overwhelming measure of grace and faith is hard to do, but I have learned the beauty of reaching the point of complete emptiness within myself which feels sad...but becomes the moment where the Lord reaches out to this failing servant and says "I was here the whole time. I watched you, and I waited for you. Now I'm here to pick you up." Such love and faithfulness on the part of our Savior is amazing and complete.

"How Deep the Father's Love for Us" is probably a top favorite song I've ever had the privilege to listen to, play, or sing. It especially became this year's song along with "It is Well" as a close second. God's love is vast beyond all measure and wondrous because He has made the wretch His treasure; this wretch. Redemption is a path I walk daily. I don't know what God sees in me, but to me, His love is the greatest treasure.

I've heard the unsaved argue that God's love is unseen and that is the reason why they don't believe or trust in Him. I see it. In the smile of a loved one, a word of encouragement, a timely scripture reference from a friend's text at 12:00 A.M., or even some random person who says..."I don't know who needed to hear this, but I just wanted to let that person know that...".

That kind of love is beautiful.

There have been a menagerie of situations this year that I very much think God has used to humble me and make me less of a prideful person. But because He has chastised me in these ways, I can understand that He only loves me enough to shape me and mold me. That being said, a couple of verses from one of my favorite chapters in Proverbs will suffice to portray my meaning here.

"My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor detest His correction; 

For whom the LORD loves he corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights."

-Proverbs 3:11-12-

I can't describe them all to you, but I can tell you of one way God has shaped me this year to form humility. Every believer out there can give me a hearty AMEN because at some point, God has also humbled them in some ways that did not necessarily feel good but were used for our good.

God allowed me to feel things keenly this year. Emotions from different situations became so real and so potent and they hurt with the let down but made me a stronger person... and maybe a little wiser. Each situation made me feel very vulnerable at times and if you know me well enough, you know that I absolutely hate being vulnerable. But I realized that through the three phases I went through this year, God caused me to sink a little further into vulnerability each time. He took me a little farther out of my comfort zone and taught me that being a vulnerable person sometimes helps us become more real with others and allows us to be willing to share the parts of our story we wouldn't have otherwise shared. Being real is being confident. Confident in who you are in Christ.

The beautiful thing about the last couple of months is I have shared some stories from this year and from my teen years that would have normally hurt to share. But the feedback I got after having these one on one conversations with people is a gratefulness that I shared those things because they were walking down a very similar path. These are precious and beautiful conversations that make me realize how much we miss out when we look within ourselves instead of around us to find ways to reach out to people with Jesus.

THIS is why it is good to be honest and real (hence the way I began this post). God brought me low so that He could build me and others up at the same time. It makes the painful journey worth it if I can use that painful journey to reach out to others as well. It replaces the false self-confidence we normally carried and replaces it with a steady and sure God-confidence that is based in truth and honesty instead of pride. Praying for others to be broken down so that God can built them up is a prayer we all need to be saying for ourselves as well.

All of that being said...

"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind 

let each esteem others better than himself. 

Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of

others."
-Philippians 2:3-4-

As I have conversations with different people about humility, spiritual growth, pride, using our gifts for His glory.....etc., I recognize that the primary goal we should want to achieve here is to be one accord with others and esteem their individual needs more than our own. Be a listener, not just a sharer. If we want to reach more people, we need to learn to listen to their individual stories and journeys that they have traveled in order to get to the point they have reached. Even if you feel you have heard the story a thousand times before; listen. That being said, verse four hits the nail on the head because the best way we can act in someone's best interests and to encourage them is by first understanding their needs. We need to be in one accord with each other as members of the body of Christ. 

How do I need to grow?

As I said before, as I pray for different people, I collect the ways I pray for them and also pray for myself to grow in the same areas. So here are some ways I am praying for others and myself as we go into the year 2020. It's a new decade...a new purpose. Be purposeful, unafraid, shameless for Christ, and, most importantly, love Christ first and love and value others more than yourself. 

1. Know and love Jesus first before everything and anyone else. 

2. Grow in humility and may it measure more than my pride. 

3. Be purposeful with my time and liberal as I spend it on others. 

4. I want to receive criticism and wisdom well. 

5. Be more avid in sharing the Gospel message!!!!!

6. Be more forgiving. If I want it, I need to be willing to give it. 

7. I must be willing to confront problems with resoluteness and grace. 

8. Put others in my life above my own personal gain in any area. I want to always be willing to "take a hit" for a friend or a member of the family. 

9. Continue to be more honest and open in conversations I have with others. Someone who masks things about themselves is never being 100% honest. 

10. Never make an important decision alone. Take concerns to the feet of Christ and to those I deem my closest prayer partners and spiritual counselors.

All of these things are ways I would like to grow and continue growing. It is a year in which I would like to live with purpose, see things, continue to approach life confidently, and treat others with care and kindness. While I spent 2019 working through three situations that often caused me lack of sleep, frustration, and tears... it wasn't a wasted year. While I won't miss this year, I don't regret a single minute of it...nope, not a second. God has given me much to think about, people that have shaped me, and much to be grateful for as I launch into 2020. He is faithful and He is good. 

A verse I've kept close at heart when writing out this list and praying for others and myself is Romans 12:2. Carry it close to you as you learn of ways you need to grow, sacrifice, minister, and serve others and Christ in the coming year. 

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

2020 is the year of purpose. Live well, brothers and sisters!

~Maddy~