I am ready

It's been a while since I've posted.

So much has been going through my head. Through the quarantine I spent a good bit of time left to my devices; meaning my thoughts. Anybody who knows me very well knows that it's a dangerous thing when I start thinking. :)

But seriously guys, I did some reflecting on myself. 

My focus has been incredibly wrapped up in the politics of the pandemic and the rising racism on both sides in this nation. Part of that focus is a feeling of fear because this world I'm watching develop into something unrecognizable is not the world I grew up in; much less the world my parents knew as young people. 

Many people say that we're facing the last days, some people say the world will never be the same, others say we will be wearing masks from now on thanks to the influence of the medical industry and the media, many have a fear of the COVID 19 vaccine that Bill Gates has told us will alter our DNA permanently, still more now remain divided over the protests, riots, and multiple sides the media has told us we can take on the race war they created. 

So many things to cause so many variations of fear, and if allowed to implant themselves in our mind, will cause depression. 

I opened up to a friend on text, so I'll open up here. 

These times have not been good for me. Outside of the fact that other things have been on my mind lately, I am constantly reminded through posts online that I have a reason to fear and a reason to worry about what I will encounter tomorrow. Many viral posts and videos come so very close to saying that if I'm not fearful, there's something wrong with me. Well, according to the world, there is nothing wrong with what I'm feeling at all. 

But I know there is. I have allowed an enemy to creep in and steal what someone inside me has promised will tear me down. It has done just that. 

I'm a Christian. I'm not ashamed of that. I would admit that in front of a row of ISIS executioners and have less fear of them than I do of the unsure feeling of my future in this world I'm living in. Realizing that made me ashamed that I have any fear at all. 

If I have no fear over what my beliefs and convictions will do to me if I'm given an ultimatum, why am I fearing these weak devices intended to play with the psyche of every human being on the planet? Why am I angry over matters that I cannot control? Why do I get so tied up in the politics of this world that I forget who I am in Christ?

Let me be dead honest with you. 

Politics are temporary. The Media is temporary. COVID 19 was temporary (yes I used past tense). Racism is temporary. Hate is temporary. Division is temporary. 

But Christ in me? That's never going to change. 

I enjoy debating politics and the issues in our world. I engage with other patriots in online comment threads and enjoy a good exchange (thanks scamdemic), and I love to write about political myths, theories, and facts. 

However....what am I first? A Christian or a political theorist? Yikes...the more I think about the way I've been lately, the more I become convicted of my false narrative I've conjured up in my mind. I have talked more politics lately than I have Jesus. I've spewed more frustration over the media than I have love and I've watched more political activists rant on social media than I have listen to a pastor speak truth and love into the lying narrative staring us all in the face. 

So I wanted to get that out into the open because I have reached a point where something has cracked. It's reached a breaking point inside my mind, and my spirit has declared war on the bad news that I pour into my mind. 

Now, am I saying I shouldn't be informed, shouldn't be active, and shouldn't care about the future of the world I'm living in? No, but I need a break. I need Jesus more than I need this world in the long run and it's time I sought a change in my heart before I seek out carnal knowledge and the new political theories that start up every day in videos and countless posts that have thrown up all over my Facebook news feed. 

Our spirits and the health of our relationship with Jesus Christ should always be our number 1 priority in this life. Is it deep or shallow? Is it deep but suddenly weak? Is it shallow and empty? We can feel a thousand different ways about what our faith has become when we allow the world's devices to come in and distract us from our goal as believers. 

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 3:13-14-

We must forget what lies behind us...all the lies. We must STRAIN. So scripture does not promise us this is going to be easy. We must strive and strive well with due diligence for truth and the call of Christ in our lives. We must seek truth. 

"Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you."

Philippians 3:15

God promises to reveal it to us. If we are weak, He will still be strong in our lives. If we do not think, at any time, maturely in relation to hope, moving forward, and seeking the call of Christ over anything else in this world, God will prevail in our lives. 

This makes me think of another set of verses. 

"Finally, brothers, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may speed ahead and be honored, as happened among you, and that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men. For not all have faith. But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one."

2 Thessalonians 3:1-3

We must pray for each other in order for the Word of the Lord to spread in this culture. Just as Paul requested prayer for himself and others with him that they would be delivered from wickedness, we must also pray for brothers and sisters in Christ in the face of the evil we're facing in the present. We must pray for all of us to have faith. For we know that the Lord is faithful even when we are weak and He is our establishment against the evil of this age. 

Will you put off the struggles for a short while with me? I challenge you just as I am being challenged through conviction to take a break from an unhealthy obsession with lies, fear, and division. I am ready.

The struggle will still be there when we return, but the thing is, once we have reconnected and had our faith strengthened by our King, the struggle will not seem nearly so threatening as it was before. 

I love you guys.

-Maddy-